BY MIKE SCARLETT | Mike Scarlett.  I am a counselor and have a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Counseling.

I would prefer to write on a more pleasant subject because of the holiday season, but in light of the recent Omaha mall suicide/murders I feel that it is important to write this article now.  It is a fact that there is a spike in suicides, and attempted suicides during the holidays.  With that in mind it is important to pay attention to those around us who may be at risk.
       When I was in junior high, my parents had a couple that they loved to played cards with.  The wife was always cheerful.  She didn’t seem to have a care in the world.  Later, when I was in college I received word that she had taken her life with a shotgun.  Everyone that knew her was shocked and could not believe that she, of all people, could do this.
       About six years later I went to see her husband.   As he told me about it he began to sob.  He then pulled a well-worn piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and handed it to me.   It was her suicide note to him.  He carried it with him everywhere he went.  She wrote, “I love you, but I can’t live like this anymore, please forgive me”.   He told me that he didn’t have any idea that she was considering take her life.
       I had another experience with suicide while in college.  Over a several week period I had noticed a student in the men’s dormitory TV room that never spoke to anyone.  He always sat slumped on the couch and kept to himself.  He seemed to be “down”.  Being absorbed with my own issues, I never reached out to him.  One weekend, while he was at home, he gassed himself by hooking a hose to his car’s tail pipe.  At times I have been haunted by the thought that I could have made a difference.
       Most of us would try to intervene if we thought someone was about to commit suicide.   With that in mind I have complied a list of some risk factors for suicide.  If someone you know talks about suicide or you think they may be suicidal take it seriously.  Encourage them to see a doctor or a counselor.  Don’t be afraid to call 911.
 Common risk factors for suicide:
·       Their talk:  Threatening to kill or hurt themselves, statements like: “Everyone would be better off without me”, “I wish I were dead”, “I can’t go on anymore”, “Someday everyone will be sorry”, etc.
·       Giving away their personal things or prized possessions
·       Calling friends and family members to say their goodbyes
·       Recent purchase of gun, rope, pills or other means by which to do it
·       Reckless or dangerous behavior
·       Drug or alcohol abuse
·       Loss of interest in things that once brought pleasure
·       Previous suicide attempt
·       Loss of sleep or too much sleep, change in appetite
·       Experienced recent loss, such as death, divorce, or breakup, loss of job, failure of business, loss of status, etc.
·       Depressed with feelings of hopelessness, uncontrolled anger, wants revenge
·       Getting their affairs in order, new will, life insurance etc.
·       Elevated sense of relief after prolonged depression or struggle
·       Facing an embarrassing or humiliating situation
·       A developed suicide plan:  how they would do it, where it would happen, when it would happen, who would find them, etc.
 I think many of us have at times been weary of life’s many struggles and have had thoughts, if only fleeting, of ending it all.  Many times this is related to the feeling that things will never change.  If you are thinking these thoughts I want to encourage you that life is ever changing, and no matter how bad your situation, life has the hope of getting better.   In conclusion I leave you with this promise from the scripture “there is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” (Pr 23:18).

Mike Scarlett is a Christian Counselor and public speaker.  He holds a masters degree in Marriage and Family Counseling from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX.   He may be contacted by going to mikescarlett.com, or by calling 817-556-2750.

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